Not long after Tyler came out of the womb and I found out he was a he, I braced myself for roughhousing and dirt, farting and burping, blood and broken bones that is stereotypical of raising boys.   In his short 3.5 years, weve now experienced all of that.

Tyler broke his arm.  

The crazy thing though is that he didnt even break it "being a boy."  Not jumping off the back of the couch playing super heroes or rough playing with his sister or attempting a crazy stunt at the playground.  He fell in the shower.  So pretty much the same way the elderly break bones!

Lately on bath night, Joel has been giving the kids a shower right when he gets home with them after school before I get home from work.  That way, bath is all done and were in less of a mad dash to get through dinner and bath before bedtime.  

Picture this.  Columbus.  2016.  Lily is 5 with a going on 15 kind of attitude and she was dishing it out from the moment she was picked up from school.  Joel even texted me and said "take a moment for yourself now, before you get home, Lilys in rare form."  

For the last several months, theyve taken showers in our master bathroom instead of bathes in their own bathroom.  So Joel starts working on their showers and convinces Lily to go first.  He gets her through and shes still dishing the attitude and making demands on Joels attention.  Meanwhile Tylers ready to get in the shower.  You can imagine the three ring circus, right?  So Joel go to deal with Lily and Tyler goes ahead and gets in the shower.  When doing so, he slips and falls.  Joels back was to him so he didnt see it happen so were not sure if he landed on his arm or if it was the act of him putting his arm out to catch himself that did it.  Either way, the screaming and the swelling was instant.

Joel assumed right away that his arm was broken.

He calls me right away.  I almost didnt pick up because I was already on the phone with one of my employees and texting with another trying to get him conferenced in.  But something told me to pick up so put my work phone on mute and answered my cell.

[screaming in the background] 

Me, "Hi whats up? Im on the phone."

Joel, "Guess what happened?"

Me, "What?"

"Pretty sure Tyler broke his arm."

"WHAT?  Oh my God!  What do you want me to do? -- [unmute work phone] HEATHER I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW!  EMERGENCY AT HOME!! [slam down work phone] -- Do you want me to meet you at the hospital?  Do you want me to come home?  What do you need me to do?"

"Come home."

So I grab up my stuff and RUN out of the building.  Tear across the parking lot and drive like a bat out of hell across town.  And at 5:10, that means hitting every single light red.  But somehow I still ran through the door at home 15 minutes after Joel called me.  So grateful for living in this small town!

Meanwhile Joels dealing with a screaming Tyler and a Lily that is still demanding Joels attention because she clearly doesnt understand the gravity of the situation.  Finally Joel yells at her to be quiet and go get dressed immediately because we have to take Tyler to the hospital because hes hurt very bad.  She snaps out of her attitude at that and starts complying with instructions.

I come in the door and Tylers laying on our bed clothed and ready to go.  Hes got a makeshift splint on his arm with a couple of small boards tied up with Walmart sacks!  Joel had cut a t-shirt up the side to get it on him and pinned it back together with safety pins.  So resourceful and creative - even under stress.  Very impressive!

Joel packs up Tyler in the car, who is whimpering by this time but not screaming.  I start throwing random food in a Walmart sack because I have no idea what a trip to the ER will look like - how long well be there or whatever - and its nearly dinner time.  Leave it to me - were in crisis mode and I think to grab food.  

Joel and I drive separate in case one of us needs to bring Lily back home.  On the way, I am chatting about anything I can think of to keep Tyler distracted.  We talked about X-rays which they had just learned about at school the week before.  Tyler asked if it was going to print out on a paper that he can take home.  So cute.

Lily was trying to comfort him by touching his shoulder or leg or anything she can reach.  Which hes really not interested in.  It kind of broke my heart further to have to tell Lily that while what she was doing was really kind and sweet, but Tyler just needed to be left alone.

We get to the ER and its FREEZING and windy enough to practically blow us all away.  Of course in our mad dash out of the house neither kid had a coat on.  A night full of awesome parenting moments.

Thank the Lord, we are seen right away at the ER.


They took Tylers vitals and wheeled him back to a room where we waited to get the X-rays.  They wouldnt give him any pain medicine until he saw the doctor and that wasnt going to happen until after the X-rays.  I was losing my mind over this, feeling sick that Tyler was in pain.  But, he was in decent spirits during this time.  Not crying much - just an occasional whimper and request to go home.


After about 20 minutes we make our way to the X-ray room - all of us tromping along with Tyler trying to stay out of the way.  Once in the X-ray room only one of us could stay so I did.  This was the absolute worst part of the experience (for me).  The X-ray tech had to move Tys arm around a bit to get a good picture and that caused him so much pain.  He was screaming and crying huge fat tears and I was trying not to cry and the tech was doing his best not to hurt poor Tyler and the whole thing was just awful.  Im not sure how long we were in there - maybe 15 minutes?  Felt like eternity.

Then tromp back to the room while waited for the doctor to review the X-rays.  That was probably another 20 minutes.  Then he comes in and confirms its broken and starts talking about maybe need surgery, dont know, have to talk to the orthopedic doctor, probably dont need surgery but not for him to say and blah blah blah.  Joel and I kind of freak out at the word "surgery" but we hold it together.

Tyler then FINALLY gets some pain meds and they put a splint on him - with slightly better materials than wood scraps and Walmart sacks.

 
We finally get out of there after about 2 hours total - which was far less time than I was anticipating.  Joel, the bad ass Dad, makes Tyler walk out of the ER on his own two feet.  And tells him to smile for a picture.  Tylers face says it all.


I was really worried about how much pain Tyler was in and whether he would be able to sleep.  But they gave him tylenol with hydrocodone and he slept really well from about 8:30pm until 3:00am when he woke up crying out in pain.  I fly out of my bedroom and rush to him and hes crying, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, my arm still hurts.  It hurts, Mommy, it hurts."  I rush to get him more medicine and moments after I do he starts to relax and close his eyes and drifts right back off to sleep.  Whew.

The next morning, Tyler gets up, hyper as all get out.  Talking a million miles an hour about any and everything.  I think he was high on hydrocodone.  He was totally silly and completely bouncing off the walls.  It was cute and a little disconcerting at the same time.  I was just sure he was going to try to do a cartwheel or flip or flying superhero leap and just injure himself further.  He was insisting on wearing these shoes from Jackson which were about 3 sizes too big and I just KNEW he was going to trip and fall.

I went off to work and Joel stayed home with Tyler and called the orthopedic doctor first thing so we could get an appointment to have him checked out there.  We were lucky and got an appointment pretty early in the day so I met them over there.

While we were waiting, Tyler was goofing around, acting completely silly and HIGH AS A KITE.  He was exercising, stretching and running (trying to prove to me that his shoes WERE NOT too big and he WAS NOT going to fall).


We get back to the exam room and finally get to see a picture of the X-ray.  We were completely shocked and expecting something far worse than what we saw, based on the swelling we saw the night before.  The bulge on the bottom side of his arm is what we THOUGHT was his bone pushing out.  But it wasnt at all, it was the swelling.  The orthopedic doctor said that in children blood production happens all throughout their skeletal system (vs adults, its concentrated in certain areas).  So when a child breaks a bone, theres typically a lot of swelling because of all the blood pooling.


The doctor tells us that its your "everyday stereotypical little boy / little girl broken arm."  The break isnt in the growth plate and is very straight forward in terms of healing.  He only needs to wear the cast for probably about 4 weeks.

We asked him what color cast he wanted and without hesitation, he chose blue.  Joel took about 87 pictures.  Heres just a few.







After finishing up at the doctor, Joel took Tyler to the mall to buy the kid some new shoes.  I was pretty sick of fighting with him about wearing Jacksons too big shoes.  They run over to the mall and find some Batman shoes.  Tyler shows Joel how fast he run through the mall in his new shoes.  They sent me a video.  It was pretty hysterical.



That afternoon, Tyler finally got the bath that he was meant to get the day before.  Comes out looking handsome as ever with his new shoes, shark hair and bad ass cast!  And wearing a Mr Lucky T-shirt which his Daddy thought was hilariously ironic.

Tyler lets Uncle Josh near him - on purpose - but just because Uncle Josh was willing to be the engine on the tractor.

Picking (eating) strawberries at Whipkers.

Tantrums.  Each kid could have a whole post dedicated to their tantrums but just thinking about it makes me tired.  Instead, heres the aftermath of a tantrum thrown by Tyler.  I was out of town during this escapade, but I think Tyler didnt want to go potty or put on his pull up or something before nap time and threw a fit.  Joel gave up and locked him in his room.  He went back a little bit later and ol Tyler had passed out without pants on.  This is one for the senior year slide show!

Joel asked her if that was his wiener hanging down between his legs.  Lily said, "No.  Its your poop.  Youre in the bathroom pooping."  Nice.  Real nice, Lily.

Lily ensuring that Tylers feet are squeaky clean.  Someone just needs to feed him grapes.

Lots of swimming in the back yard.

We went to the potty.  A lot.  I do not understand Joels fascination with taking pictures of the kids while they are on the pot.  Hes an odd bird.

This one of Lily happened during a GINORMOUS tantrum she was throwing while on a return bike ride from the playground.  She screamed the whole ride and was nearly left on the side of the rode about 3 times.  At this point in the trip, she had been screaming for 15 minutes that she had to potty (which was totally not true, but thats her "go to" phrase when she wants some attention).  So I finally pulled over and yanked her pants off and told her to potty on the tree cause there were no toilets around.  And Joel snapped a photo.  

Here are some other pictures of family bike rides.  Not all end in horror.

Having a picnic at the playground.

The kids enjoyed swimming lessons for all of 2 out of 8 days.  The first 2 days were great.  They participated, they had fun.  Lily took care of her brother.  

However after that, neither of them wanted to participate.  We kept right on trying through day 5 before we just gave the hell up.    Days 3, 4 and 5 were sheer misery.  M-I-S-E-R-Y.  They love to swim but apparently do not enjoy being told what to do when they are swimming.

Heres Tyler checking out chickens at Todds house.  And playing in the mud.

This is known as a gaggle of grand babies. Audrey is MIA in this photo - probably she was in hiding due to the extreme noise.

And that about does it for June.