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Patio Complete!

Disclaimer:  I wrote most of this post almost 3 months ago...somehow managed to neglect to hit the publish button....

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The patio construction is done!  Joel was right, we were in the home stretch.

When I last left off, we were in the gravel compacting stage.  Joel took a day off of work last week to work on the patio because he was planning to be out of town all weekend on the motorcyle trip and wanted to get the next phase good and going.  He started off the day with this mishap:

Split his overalls lifting the 250 lb compactor out of the truck.  He sent me this picture while I was at work.  Did he go inside and change his clothes?  Nope.  Worked ALL DAY in these special air flow optimized drawers.  Back off ladies, hes mine, all mine.

We called up Menards and luckily, for a fee that was totally worth paying, they would deliver the pavers to our house.  We would have spent that much in gas just driving back and forth across town 4 times to get all the pavers.

Joel inquired about having the pavers set on the side of the house to save us some hauling distance and the delivery fella said that they only deliver to the driveway and then produced the paperwork which backed up his claim.

But then, for $5 cash money, the delivery guy said he could set a couple pallets down on the side of the house for us.  Best $5 we spent in this whole project.  I hope that fella bought himself a nice cheeseburger for lunch that day!  Ha!

I mentioned that Joel was mostly doing the patio project while I watched from the sidelines (and kept the house in running order, family fed, children bathed, etc etc).  Well I did finally participate a little more actively in the project.  

First, I laid out the tile pattern in Excel so we could get a good count of how many pavers wed need.  Anal, much?  Yes.  Thank you for noticing. 

And then I took a 1/2 day vacation to join Joel in the sand placing and paver laying part of the project.  I was responsible for the sand - Joel did the pavers.  Those sons uh guns were heavy.  (Also, speaking of guns....check out mine!  Ha!)

 

We worked and worked and worked and made really good progress that day.

 

Then it was back to work work instead of home work the next day but when Joel got off, he went right back to laying pavers.  He worked and worked and worked and worked until he got all the pavers laid (except the ones that had to be cut). Also, now you can see where Tyler gets the idea that work boots and shorts is an acceptable look.

 

Then the weekend came and Joels motorcycle trip got cancelled because the weather was supposed to be crappy all weekend.  I encouraged him to take a break from the patio and since it wasnt raining at that time, sent him of on a little local ride for a few hours.

Then when he came home, it was back to work on the yard and patio.  We ended up working the whole weekend - with nearly no interruptions from rain.  Go figure.  At least we made big progress!

We piled up all the left over sand and cleaned off as much of the driveway as possible - this was an important step because our house was full of sand from us walking through it on the driveway and dragging it in on our feet (even with taking our shoes off in the garage, sand was still showing up everywhere).  Tyler was a big help with this step.

Then we installed the edging thats supposed to help keep the pavers from shifting around too much over time.  And then Joel worked his hind end off on spreading dirt and essentially "landscaping" the grassy area all around the pavers as well as spreading dirt in some of the low spots in our yard.  Tyler helped with that too.

Joel put sealer on the pavers and we bought more sand (a different kind this time) to put down in the cracks between pavers and rented that compactor AGAIN to settle that sand.  That thing is LOUD.

Tyler got to ride in the back of Joels truck when he moved it at one point - Tyler thought that was the big time.

And then....last but not least, we ordered our patio furniture!  This super cool table with a fire pit in the middle (with a lazy susan cover for when you dont need a fire burning).  What does a family do when a fire pit is in the back yard?  Uh, have smores.  Yessiree!!

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FXB Week 10 Challenge Complete

The last 10 weeks have been life changing for me.  Wait.  The last two years have been life changing for me and these last 10 weeks have just sent me to a place beyond anything I ever dreamed of in terms of how healthy I was capable of looking and feeling.  

Carrie Beckort, thank you for blogging your Journey to FIT in such a compelling way that I felt I had no other option but to give it a try myself.  Any other answer was just an excuse.  

I never knew exercise could be so fun and rewarding.  Its these people.  My classmates, our coaches (Milo and Kevin called out in the pic), the instructors.  Its just so. freaking. awesome.

Its this gal.  Erika.  Shes got her eye on me.  Her workout depends on my workout and I dont want to let her down.  Love her.

Even the rest of our gym family noticed that Erika and I always work out together.  We even won an award because of it - the Dynamic Duo!

Now to cut through some of that cheese and actually share the bottom line which I know youre dying to see.

Unbelievable the pounds and inches that came off.  My official total is now 100 pounds lost (95 pounds on Weight Watcher + 5 pounds on FXB) and 75 inches lost (63 on Weight Watchers and 12.25 on FXB).  ONE HUNDRED POUNDS.  SEVENTY-FIVE INCHES.   Wow.

Crazy to way more than double my push ups.

Doubled my sit ups.  Gawd, I hate sit ups.  Clearly.  Its my tailbone!!  I have the biggest, most protrusive tailbone in the history of human existence.  Sit ups HURT ME people, and not in the good hurt kind of way that exercise is supposed to be!  I will say, however, that at the beginning of FXB, I couldnt do one single rowboat.  Not one.  The instructor would call out rowboats and I would try - so hard - but I just couldnt do it.  It hurt too bad and I just wasnt strong enough to "pull myself out" of tailbone.  Now, I can do them.  They still hurt like hell, but I have strengthened my core enough to do them at about quarter speed to what the instructor is yelling - but Ill take that over zero any day.

Anybody else think this looks like an advertisement for Reebok?  Just sayin.

The stat I am most impressed with on the whole sheet?  

Hands down, my mile time.  I cried at orientation when I finished in 11:30 because I had never completed a mile so fast in my life.  I set a goal to finish in under 10 minutes at week 10.  I completed the mile in 9 minutes and 21 seconds.  Mind.  Blown.  It wasnt pretty, I was gasping at breath for most of it and I almost puked twice - but thats neither here nor there.

And last, but certainly not least, the before/after pictures.  (Oh-my-gawd-take-a-deep-breath-and-hit-publish-before-I-lose-my-nerve.)

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Mission Complete! Family Portraits

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Tiwa Savage Rocked Complete Fashion Night

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Complete guide to doing a coffee enema

• Increased energy and alertness
• Stimulation and detoxification of congested bile ducts to support the all-important liver
• Parasite and yeast elimination
• Removal of gallbladder sludge and stones

1. Volume – how much liquid you’re instilling. The standard volume of each dose is 1 pint, with two doses recommended per procedure.
2. Concentration – the ratio of coffee to water used during brewing. Standard concentration is 2 tablespoons per quart of water.
3. Caffeination – the caffeine strength of the coffee used
4. Duration – how long you hold each dose of coffee
5. Temperature – the temp of the coffee
6. Bucket height – this determines the speed with which the coffee enters your colon. 16 inches above your hiney is standard.

• Organic coffee
• Filtered water
• Coffee enema filter
• Quart mason jars or half gallon mason jars
• 1 quart or 5 quart glass enema bucket kit
• Rubber colon tube
• Rolling enema hose clamp
• Lubricant of choice
• Beaucoup paper towels

• Witch hazel
• Intimate equipment soap
• Poo-pourri spray
• Squatty Potty
• Non-toxic disinfectant
• A good book / Kindle / e-Reader

1. Fill a saucepan with 1 quart of purified or distilled water.
2. Add 2 tablespoons of ground coffee per quart.
3. Turn heat to medium-high and bring the pot to a boil.
4. Turn down the heat and gently simmer for 13 minutes.
5. Remove from heat and replace any evaporated water to return to the original amount. This also cools the coffee faster.
6. Once the coffee is warm, pour it in a mason jar through the coffee filter. The filter can quickly clog and overflow, so be sure to place the mason jar in a bowl. NOTE: DO NOT pour scalding hot coffee into a room-temperature mason jar. You will instantly learn an unpleasant physics lesson in thermal shock [5], where rapidly differing temperatures in glass cause critical stress fractures and bathe your kitchen in piping hot Moon Mud. In theory, of course. #totallyexplodedmymasonjar

1. Before doing ANYTHING ELSE, make sure the hose clamp is closed. Leaving that sucker open has resulted in more than one unanticipated flood.
2. Fill your clean enema bucket with lukewarm coffee. Too cold, and you may have trouble holding your Caboose Coolatta. Too hot, and you’ll give a new, highly painful meaning to the term “Red Eye”.
• Incidentally, burns from scalding hot coffee during the procedure are the most popular argument against coffee enemas in general. Funny, I wouldn’t expect someone to insert a bottle of Prilosec in their tookus because of common sense; and yet if they did, I wouldn’t imagine AstraZeneca to be found at fault (this time).
3. Hang the bucket at least 16 inches above where you’ll be laying; the bathroom doorknob provides the ideal height. You can also lay in the bathtub, but I haven’t found the shower head or tub spout the proper height. Using the harness, I tilt the bucket towards the port and hose so that gravity will pull most of the liquid out of the bucket.
4. Lock the bathroom door. If you’re blessed with a family as curious as mine, you will very much regret not locking your door with a glass bucket and bottom full of joe on the other side. Your unwitting family can never unsee such a sight.
5. Grab your roll of paper towel and prep the floor. I tear a sheet off to rest the colon tube on in between doses, one to wipe my hands, and a third under my backside just in case.
6. Optional: spray homemade Poo-Pourri in your toilet for the pending purge.
7. Put a Chux pad and sheet on the floor and over the Squatty Potty (if using).
8. Have a book or Kindle ready. You could also turn on some music and light a candle. You might as well get comfortable. I’ve read 8 books in the last 4 months during my doody detoxes. In fact, during my first enema, I watched a video interview about coffee enemas by Dave Asprey, The Bulletproof Exec, while using his Bulletproof Coffee! How meta is that?? #someta
9. Attach the colon tube to the enema hose. Make sure it’s well attached; having it detach while dispensing your Be-Dunkin’ Brew is a rainshower experience you don’t want.
10. Lie down on the floor.
11. Lube your backside and about 6 – 10 inches of the colon tube.
12. Here’s where the fun begins. Gently and slowly insert the first 6-10 inches of the colon tube into your backside. It must get past two sphincters; you’ll feel a bit of resistance each time. It can feel a little… intimate. You may wish your colon tube had bought you dinner first. But it should in no way feel uncomfortable or painful, or else you may wish to consult a professional. If you have a resistant rear, it helps to take a deep breath and insert the tube on the exhale. To help guide you, you can wrap a rubber band a few inches past the desired length on the tube; this way, you can hold the rubber band and know you’re hitting your mark. Just make sure not to get fluids on the rubber band or it will harbor booty baddies. [Ed. Note: I find it easy to get past the second, uh, sphincter, once the joe is flowing]
13. When the tube is in, snap or roll the clamp open to full flow. Depending on the temperature of the coffee, you’ll feel a cooling sensation spread through your abdomen. Continue to make sure the the colon tube is securely attached; I now hold the tube and hose juncture while instilling.
14. Watch the liquid line fall as you instill the coffee. Close the clamp when you’ve reached the halfway point.
15. VERY slowly remove the tube and place it on a paper towel. And I mean S-L-O-O-O-W. You definitely don’t want to Yerga-Chafe your delicate derriere.
16. Hold the liquid as best you can for 15 minutes. If this is too difficult, maintain it for a minimum of 3-4 minutes. I find I often can’t hold the first dose for this long, but can hold the second for the full 15. (If you’re able to have a bowel movement before the enema, do it… it makes it a lot easier to hold the coffee in])
17. Get up and dispense your Crappuccino (too much?). Wipe gently with damp toilet paper or the witch hazel, if desired. I keep a spray bottle of water next to the commode for a squeaky clean keister.
18. Return to the floor and repeat steps 11 – 16. Expel once again.
19. You’re done; that was brisk, baby!

1. Wash hands THO-ROUGH-LY. You don’t want to touch anything until you’ve scrubbed your mitts.
2. Pull the colon tube off the hose over the sink; anywhere else and you’ll get a refreshing Starbucks Shower.
3. Clean the colon tube thoroughly. I cleanse it with Lunette wash, then rinse with hydrogen peroxide, then water. Every few weeks I boil the colon tube for 10 minutes for a deep clean.
4. Put the colon tube to dry in safe place. Maybe not over your toilet, unless you want your colon tube to take refreshing dive into the porcelain lagoon, ahem.
5. Wash and rinse the bucket with the cleanser and hot water. Then, fill the bucket with hot water.
6. Hold bucket with one hand as high as you can, open the clamp and let the water and coffee remnants fully drain into the sink.
7. Once empty, wipe the bucket dry with fresh paper towel. Store in a safe place where your toddler won’t use it to hold his crayons.
8. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. You can lose a lot of fluid during an enema, so I drink a mixture of 8 oz. water with 8 oz. coconut water to replace any lost electrolytes.

• Coffee Enema: Unmatched for Detoxification by the Healthy Home Economist
• Coffee Enemas: Health Benefits or Buzz? by Jaclyn of The Family That Heals Together
• Bulletproof Coffee Enemas by Ben Greenfield Fitness
• The Ultimate Detox: Coffee Enemas by My Gutsy

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Posted by Unknown at 6:13 AM

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