Find Kardus

Whew

Whew

Last week was insane. My brain is still spinning from all the information that was thrown at us. Overall, it was a great experience. I was able to connect with some really awesome people and I feel less worried about the program as a whole.

I was worried that the curriculum would fly way over my head, but so far Ive been able to hang in there. In general, Im the type of person that doubts my skills and gets all panicky and awkward when Im in a new situation. Then, I realize I know more than I give myself credit for. Dont mistake that for me feeling like I know everything, I just know more than I thought I did. I definitely didnt receive an inflated head from boot camp. I walked out having more questions than I had answers, for sure.

I did learn, however, that being away from Shepherd for that many days literally breaks me. I was emotional and weepy the entire time. Id start thinking about him and Id get all misty and messed up. It was horrible. We were so busy (with every moment accounted for) that it was hard to find free time to be able to video chat with him...and as luck would have it more than a few of the moments I could steal were during nap time! Doh. It was torture. At one point I just made Bryan go into the room as Shepherd slept and watched him for a few seconds. Bryan made sure to get close ups of his little hands and feet for me. I wanted to cry, I ached so bad.

On Sunday as I drove home, I had a migraine. It started in class (most likely from lack of sleep) and when I got home, I ended up suffering most of the night. I couldnt fall asleep. I was so overly tired that I just couldnt shut my brain down. It made me have a new appreciation for Shepherds schedule and what happens when he gets overtired. Luckily for me Im not a kid and I can take Nyquil to go to bed. I ended up falling asleep and staying that way for 10 or 11 hours. It was glorious.


I had taken Monday as a vacation day, knowing my limits and wanting specific time to hang out with Shepherd. Turns out hes cutting six teeth at the same time and is not happy. Ever. Yay for me! All I wanted are kisses and cuddles and all he wants is to throw things around the room and generally be grumpy. So, I did what any normal parent would do in this situation, I forced my love on him. I win. :)

Anyways, class has begun and Im diligently checking the website and getting a jump start on assignments so as not to slack off. I am a master slack-off-er so I have to be really good about doing what I need to do. I told Bryan that everything just has to be scheduled now. The only free time is planned free time...which sometimes doesnt seem very free at all. "Honey, we have an hour for free time! WE NEED TO HAVE FUN NOW - ITS OUR ONLY CHANCE!" Oh well. Its only for a year...

download now