Thursday, November 17, 2016
Well Be Seeing You
Well Be Seeing You
Dear Second Baby,
I havent seen you yet. Your momma likes to limit ultrasounds to just what is needed, so I didnt get to see you as a tiny little bean around eight weeks like most pregnant women. Its torturous, not having a picture of you and tangible proof that you are there. Sure, I feel you kicking and rolling around in your temporary home. And of course, the breakouts and nausea remind me that you are there, but a picture makes it so real. So do the kicks. Feel free to kick it up anytime you want. I wont complain! You can even kick my bladder. I love the reminders and so does your dad! He didnt get to feel Shepherd that much, because he was a bit terrified by it all. But this time around, he gets it. He even told me the other day that when I was asleep, he put his hand on my belly and thought he felt you! I was about 16 weeks, so that would be way earlier than with your brother, if its true!
We are so excited for this afternoon. I am beside myself anxious/giddy to see your little black and gray face. Ill be a few days shy of 19 weeks, but I couldnt wait until after our trip to see you! I havent been able to sleep, knowing that its so soon! Theyll check to make sure you are developing just fine and theyll see if you are a sweet little boy or a precious little girl, but we wont know until Saturday.
Your aunts and Grandma are making us do a gender reveal and its been trying my patience. I just want to know what you are! I want to be able to say "shes kicking the heck out of me!" or "hes pressing on my bladder and I need to pee ALL THE TIME!" Mostly, I want to give you a name (if your dad and I can ever agree on one.) and to tell your big brother that he is going to have either a little brother or sister around Christmas time. Instead of asking Shep, "Where is our baby?" and have him point to my belly, Ill get to ask "Where is your sister?" or "Where is your brother?".
But...Ill work through my impatience. Ill wait an extra seventeen hours so that we can all find out together. It will be special and will give you your own moment, just like your brother had his. This time, its just going to be our immediate family - your grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Itll be more intimate this way and less stressful on me. We are leaving to Oregon the next day so there is enough stress to go around!
I hope you know that Im doing everything I can to give you the very best start on the day you decide to come (preferably near your due date or later - NOT earlier! Listen to your mother.) Im making big changes so we can have a natural, easy birth. I want nothing more than for you to come into the world in a safe and welcoming environment. Im praying and working towards a different start for us, baby, but no matter what, we are in it together. Pre-eclampsia or not, well make it work. Itll be worth it all to hold you and love on you.
Your dad and I will do anything we need to do for you to be happy, healthy and to thrive.
You are loved, our precious second! See you soon.
xoxo,
Momma
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